What I’m Leaving in 2016

Tar-Mar-@tarmarz-nyc-blogger-central-park-minimal-style-personal-style-bloggers-you-need-to-follow-2017COAT – ASOS SIMILAR, KNIT – ASOS SIMILAR, JEANS – J BRAND (SIMILAR)[show_shopthepost_widget id=”2323904″]

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With all the uber-inspiring ‘New Year New Me’ (oh god yes I feel like that saying is going to be going so far past January) or ‘Goals for 2017′ posts piling up in the feed it’s seems easy to feel the pressure of ‘hitting the gym 5-days a week, starting that blog, loving your job, booking 3243 holidays, sorting out life by the age of 26′ – and just generally watching others seemingly hit January really fecking hard.

Even though I’ve had a lovely start to 2017 and feel super positive about it, I can’t help but be really thrown off by so much new year BS. Ok, I guess we all need a point to re-evaluate ourselves and the new year can be a great starting line for that. However this year I refuse to pressure myself into going super-nova into every aspect of my life just because the internet & society tell me I should. This year instead of cancelling my gym membership by March – I’m going to take things slow and focus on working on myself in a ‘steady wins the race’ kind of light, both mentally & physically. Time is a human construct and our ‘new year, new start’ can really occur anytime we need it too, so don’t beat yourself up if you still haven’t gotten that beach body by June. Humans are always a work in progress after all.

So instead of a ‘2017 Goals’ post I thought I’d flip it and do a ‘Things I Want to Leave in 2016′ post so I can reflect & work on not repeating elements of last year first before setting myself new goals.

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LEAVING IT IN 2016

  • Not buying for my own style – I know, I’m a blogger – I should really have gotten this down right? Well… Ok so here’s the thing, I know my style and what I like but always find myself in one of two places – 1. Thats WAY to expensive or 2. I don’t have the figure for that.  My style between the ages of 18 & 24 has fluctuated so much (like most people) but having a blog that I can albeit sometimes regrettably look back on really emphasises how all over the place I’ve been in terms of style. Last year I felt like I had finally committed to a style but found the move to New York with LITERALLY one suitcase with all of my belongings meant basic & practical took precedence, and it took a while to build up my wardrobe again. Especially as now I live in a city where the seasons properly change in the bat of an eyelid! I just did a bit of a shopping spree though that will hopefully give me a push towards the sophistication but minimalistic style that I love so much.
  • Not travelling enough. I think travel is something that comes up in most peoples plans but for me as a person who has been lucky (or determined enough to make something happen on any budget, who knows!) enough to travel at least twice a year, spending the whole year stuck in New York really wasn’t good for my psyche. New York is an amazing city but as anyone living there will tell you – you also need to leave it often in order to keep your love for it. I did a few train trips out of the city here & there that kept me sane but nothing that filled my desire to experience new cultures & see more beautiful things! That’s something thats certainly going to change this year and I have 3 or 4 places I really want to see!
  • Grey Hair – I know I know, but it was cool in 2016 and I think it’s done now. Done, bleached out, killed, split-ended, over!
  • Being afraid to end things – and no don’t worry, Cathal is still around haha. Just relationships in general – friendly, work-related, something you’ve invested time in etc. I think even at the start of 2016 I was still very much the type of person that just couldn’t stand the thought of something like a friendship ending. Nothing in particular forced me to stop caring but I just sort of realised that life is just one big book, with many different chapters. Some people are there through the entire book, some just for a few chapters at a time when you needed that friendship. It doesn’t mean things have to be bad or that you can’t meet up for coffee once a year but it’s more a realisation that not everything is meant to last forever and people grow with different needs. I used to hate leaving jobs for example because I worried I’d lost friendships I made at work but now I can easily identify when it’s just time to move on. I think you can realise it when you feel like you have stopped learning or growing as a person!
  • Worrying about the future. I was definitely one of those people who was like ‘I’m 24 and still don’t have that business I was going to set up yet’ but for the first time in my life I’ve peered into my future for 2017 and just seen myself taking time out to focus on me. Not my career, not money (although money would be awesome, thanks) not being the ‘ultimate most successful Tara ever’ but just slowing down the chaos around me and doing little things every day that are going to make my soul happy. I suffered with anxiety for the first time this year which I had never experienced before despite many stressful situations I’ve gone through (and in general I think I’m a pretty hard cookie to crack) and I think I just need to re-centre myself and get that under-control. Also leaving ‘anxiety is bullshit’ in 2016 as now I know it’s a very real problem!
  • Blogger bullying – WE ARE HERE TO STAY CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE US SERIOUSLY & TREAT US WITH RESPECT journo’s, magazines, people who think this isn’t a real job but consume the content for free anyway. Please & thanks.
  • Mercury in Retrograde – yeah can that not be a thing? It really fucked with my 2016 tbh. I’m going to pretend you don’t exist anymore.

So those are the main things I’d like to not re-visit in 2016! I hope you enjoyed reading it

x.

// Photos shot by Edelle Kenny ; Retouch/Edit by Tar Mar

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  • Nikoletta Jonkisz

    Amazing post, I agree with what you said so much :)

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  • http://marthadahhling.blogspot.com Martha Dahhling

    The point about worrying about the future really resonated with me. I’m in my final year of uni and with graduation around the corner, I was really freaking out. Like you I also experienced anxiety for the first time in 2016 – I do not want to be there again. I think sometimes we’re bombarded with so many messages about being super successful and being the best version of ourselves 100% of the time that we forget that we sometimes just need to be ourselves and have faith that things will work out for us in the future.

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    • TarMarz

      Can’t stress enough how important it is to take time for yourself in final year! I made sure I did fun things like go catch a movie & left the studio everyday at 7pm until the final week (went to yoga after 1-2 times a week) and my results were the same as people killing themselves staying in all night! It’s just a system and nobody will every ask how well you did so try take the pressure off and take one life step at a time! x

  • http://lestage2012.blogspot.co.uk/ Aishling Browne

    The photography in this post is really good! And I like the alternative to new years resolutions/2017 goals.

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    • TarMarz

      Thankyou xx

  • http://www.atelierofstyle.co.uk Heather Ibberson (Atelier of S

    Love the bit about Mercury in Retrograde, I definitely don’t want to be that person who blames all their problems on the stars but I swear it has an effect!

    I also want to leave behind not buying for my style, I’m trying to declutter a lot of my wardrobe that I barely wear and would love that freedom of being able to fit a lot of my pieces in one suitcase! The more I realise how many possessions I own I feel more weighed down by them! Definitely want to start curating more of a uniform closet so i never have that ‘i have nothing to wear’ situation

    Heather x http://www.atelierofstyle.co.uk

    • TarMarz

      hahah same I hate to give things like retrograde power by believing in them but the more I don’t believe the more shit happens haha.
      Totally advise it, When I moved to NYC it was great knowing I didn’t own that much shit and have carried that minimalism through my whole flat! Now I have those basics and then a section for rotating trend stuff. I also try and make myself take something out of my wardrobe for good if I add something in! x

  • http://www.wherewonderwent.com Ashleigh Price

    Ahh so relatable! I am definitely similar to you in many ways especially worrying about the future. I have so many goals that I want to achieve that I think the pressure builds and I get so worked up about not achieving them. Definitely going to write a list of things I want to leave behind instead piling on more goals!

    • TarMarz

      Exactly, plans are important but when they get to the point where there getting you down you gotta just step back & consider taking smaller steps to get to where you wanna be. Also I think it’s really beneficial to deal with the past to go forward healthily! x